The Life and Loves of an Air Guitarist - Part 4

The Noughties

12th July 2001 and I saw Living Colour again in London breaking the biggest drought of gigs I’ve had. For this I wore the t-shirt I had bought at the previous Living Colour gig and was walking around the area of London when one of the band members came in the opposite direction, spotted my t-shirt and gave me the thumbs up! My brain immediately went blank and refused to tell me which band member it was so I wasn’t able to stop him and chat!

November 2002 and the start (or re-starting) of something special! Fishbone were back in the UK and on the 17th they were in the Nottingham, on the 18th in Birmingham and finally on the 27th I flew out to Amsterdam to see them. For the full story of this trip see part Three!

30th May 2003 and once again I was at a Fishbone concert this time in London, before seeing Living Colour once more in September.

31st May 2006 and I had a chance to see one of my hero’s; Leslie West of Mountain. He was playing a converted church in Worcester and I just had to see him. I’m glad I did as he is a brilliant guitarist and influenced me greatly when I was playing myself. It was a bit of an odd one as he has played with the same drummer since 1960 but they seemed to argue a bit on stage!

June and once again it was down to London to see Fishbone who were supported by Wolfunkind – a French funk metal band who really impressed me. I got to see Fishbone/Wolfunkind on another two occasions on the 14th and 16th November in Birmingham and London.

Another blast from the past was Saxon who released a new CD in 2006 and toured the UK. So 24 years after I first saw them I was in Wolverhampton (20th May 2007) being deafened once again! The first part of their set was new stuff then they did a greatest hits part which really got the crowd going and showed that they were still a great band.

My next gig was Jan 26th 2008 at the Carling Academy in Birmingham - Seasick Steve! This was a sell out and not surprisingly. Steve is a brilliant blues guitarist and has a huge stage presence even if he looks like a hobo - which he was at one point in his life.

The next gigs I had intended on going to were Black Stone Cherry in December and The Inspector Clouzo - however I don't think i will be able to now due to possibly being made redundant as I write this! (15/10/08)

The Life and Loves of an Air Guitarist - Part 3

Fishbone

Between 1991 and 1995 there was a weekly late night TV show for hard rock fans called firstly “Raw Power”, then “Noisy Mothers”. One week they did a feature on “Funk Metal” which was a new popular genre at the time and showed a video by a band by Fishbone called “Sunless Saturday”. I was impressed and bought the CD single which had a list of tour dates in the UK with one being in Birmingham shortly after. I managed to convince a friend with a car to come along (and take me!) and was blown away! I don’t recall much of that first gig apart from not knowing any of the songs bar the two on the single and that it was a total assault on the eyes and ears as the band threw themselves and their equipment around the stage while playing an amazing mix of rock, punk, funk and ska.

A few years passed and the home computer age arrived for me and I discovered a group of people on the internet who were fans of Fishbone and had an email list – the Nuttwork Neighbourhood - and so my musical education kicked off again thanks to this international family but mainly a lad up in Nottingham called Simon Smith and his recommendations of some excellent Latin rock/hip hop music – bands such as Ozomatli, Sergeant Garcia and Orishas.

Finally Fishbone returned to Europe in 2002 and I was determined in see them as much as possible so in November it was Sunday in Nottingham, Monday in Birmingham and then the following weekend in Amsterdam! The latter was supposed to be a meeting of as many Euro fans as possible, a chance to spend the day with the band and get backstage. The previous year they had done a similar thing in LA – but had a beach BBQ after the gig.

I was offered a bed for the night in Amsterdam from someone I had only communicated with via email (well dodgy!) but Arno turned out to be like all the other members of the “Fishbone Familyhood” and a great bloke. However when I arrived in Amsterdam I discovered that his phone had been cut off and I had no address for him! A helpful lady at Tourist Information managed to track him down and we finally met up by describing what coats we were wearing and standing at the meeting point of the rail station! We spent the rest of the day with some others and Norwood Fisher, the bassist, his partner and their daughter both of whom I had met at the UK gigs. The gig itself was recorded and released as a DVD/CD combo and I can be seen a few times dancing at the front!

Because of the mixture of influences on the members of Fishbone their music was a varied mixture of styles which meant that their fans came to the band from different musical directions. Some, like me, were into Rock, others Punk, Funk or Ska and so you would be recommended other bands to listen to; this led me to the funk of George Clinton’s Funkadelic, FFF (French Funk Federation) and Weapon of Choice, the ska of The Mighty Mighty Bosstones and Mad Caddies and made me listen with open ears to the punk bands my brother used to like and I always hated, mainly The Clash.

The mixture also makes it difficult for some to “get into” Fishbone as one minute they can be doing a gentle ska song, then a manic punk/thrash metal number and then a funky one. This also makes it difficult for record companies to pigeon hole them! However they are an amazing live band with huge amounts of energy and enthusiasm. Many people have commented that Fishbone on a poor night can still be leagues above many bigger bands and it’s just a pity that bands which were influenced by them (Red Hot Chilli Peppers & No Doubt to name two) have gone on to big things while for various reasons Fishbone have not really got the fame they deserve – but then would they still be the same band?

The Life and Loves of an Air Guitarist - Part 2

The 90’s

June 1990 and after a long gig free period I was once again seeing Robert Plant. September 1991 and I saw Dire Straits which is easily the worst gig I’ve been to. They were about to release a new record (“On Every Corner”) which was very country music influenced and as no one knew the songs the gig didn’t flow from the slow country songs to the great songs that made them famous. It was also not helped by the fact we were as far from the stage as you can get and near the merchandise stand so during some of the quieter songs you could hear people buying t-shirts etc. Amazingly on the 27th October 1991 Saxon were playing in Worcester so I had to go and see them again and even though there were not all that popular they still played with the enthusiasm of when I first saw them at their height in 1982. The venue was the Northwick Theatre (now an antiques centre) which was built in 1938 and the original interior followed plans by Art Deco designer, John Alexander. This meant you had people in leather, denim and Lycra surrounded by wonderful Art Deco mouldings!

1992 was a good year in many ways. In July I saw Fishbone for the first time (see separate Fishbone section) and in October I saw Ugly Kid Joe. Then in November I met Jane and shortly afterwards we went to see Bon Jovi which I think rates as one of my top gigs for atmosphere. After three gigs in one year I managed the same in 1993 this time seeing Living Colour in April, Robert Plant in July and Aerosmith in October. The Robert Plant gig was poor which after the three previous ones being so good was a big let down especially as I had told Jane it would be very good! The one highlight was the support band was Texas who had a big hit in 1989 (“I don’t want a lover”) and a brilliant début album but hadn’t been successful in the charts since and so seemed to be largely unknown by the audience.

After six gigs in two years I hit another drought only seeing Raging Slab with Jane in 1994 at JB’s in Dudley. This was a small club venue and in fact Jane met the female member of the band in the toilet and got chatting with her! I also spoke to another band member afterwards and we could possibly have hung out with them but I didn’t push it. Idiot!

Again one gig in 1995 this time Terrorvision, and Jane and I were possibly the oldest people there – we certainly felt like we were. Still it was a great pop rock gig.

1996 and as a birthday present for our daughter Pippa we went to see Alanis Morrisette in April, then the following year in May we took her to see Aerosmith – as she had complained when we went to see them in 1993 without her! She still mentions us “sneaking out” to go!

Shockingly it was to be five years before I went to another concert!

The Life and Loves of an Air Guitarist - Part 1

The 70’s & 80’s

As a child growing up in early 70’s Britain I listened to a mixture of music; my first vinyl singles were Mud, Brotherhood of Man, Emerson Lake and Palmer, Rubettes & Darts and my first LP’s were various ABBA ones.

I didn’t have a favourite musical style and while at secondary school the gang/group I was in would follow the “leader” as to what music he decided we would like – we changed from punk, to rockabilly to rock at his whim, we were that sad and pathetic!

That all changed in 1979 when the New Wave of British Heavy Metal (NWOBHM) hit the country. This caused a split in our gang as Nicky, the “leader”, had seen Grease; decided his real name was Kenickie (!) and that we should now be into Rock and Roll. I refused and so we went our separate musical ways, to be fair he is still a teddy boy with the proper clothing, hair etc so it seemed we have all continued on the path set at that time.

1979 and the NWOBHM was the launching pad of some great British bands such as Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Saxon, Samson (who’s lead singer Bruce Dickinson soon moved to Iron Maiden), Judas Priest, Scorpions, UFO, Def Leppard, Girlschool, Motorhead, Whitesnake, Gillan & Rainbow. The latter three bands were formed from ex members of the influential Deep Purple who had split a few years earlier. From other countries KISS, AC/DC & Aerosmith were also making an impact. Sadly it was also the year Led Zeppelin split after the death of John Bonham – strangely one of the bands that led to the rise of heavy metal and allegedly the band after which the term was first used, were not there to see the huge rise in popularity of the genre.

My first true rock LP was Iron Maiden’s “Number of the Beast” – if you’re going to get into Heavy Metal you might as well start with a classic. At the same time I was given “Close to the Edge” by Yes. Both of these were birthday presents and both musically very different. The first rock LP I bought myself was a live Hawkwind one, which was so awful I took it back to the shop and exchanged it for Deep Purple “In Rock”., a much better choice and still a favourite.

Concert wise the main places to see bands were in Birmingham, about 30miles away, but to a teenage kid with no money and no transport it could have been the moon really. So when a friend invited me to go and see Saxon at the Birmingham Odeon (4th October 1982) I jumped at the chance. At the time “The Eagle Has Landed” tour was touted as the loudest and also the brightest in the world; this was a time when all the rock bands were vying for the title of loudest band in the world. It was the brightest as the highlight of the gig was the lead singer coming down on to the stage from above in an Eagle shaped framework holding aircraft landing lights that could be seen 5miles away or something. I came away impressed. And deaf!

It wasn’t till December 1983 that I went to another gig and that was to see Robert Plant on his first solo tour following his “Principle of Moments” record. He was supported by It Bites who had a hit with “Calling all the Hero’s”. Then almost another twelve months before my third gig which was Iron Maiden on their “World Slavery” tour in October 1984.

Following that it was Mama’s Boys (1985), ZZ Top on their 1986 afterburner tour, Robert Plant (1988) and then Jimmy Page (1988) on his first solo tour with Jason Bonham on drums and John Miles on vocals. This featured an instrumental version of “Stairway to Heaven” with Jason conducting the audience with the singing, and a great version of John Miles’ “Music (was my first love)”.

The bands I spent my meagre funds on were Saxon , Iron Maiden, ZZ Top, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Ten Years After, Mountain, Rush and Yes to name the main ones. Fortunately this was the time of the Friday Rock Show with Tommy Vance on BBC Radio 1 so even though I didn’t buy many LP’s (although I built up a good collection of about 200 before CD’s were affordable) I heard a lot of good bands and recorded a lot of classic concerts broadcast on those Friday nights which I’ve still got on tape and some I’ve transferred to CD. These include Thin Lizzy, Gary Moore, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Twisted Sister, Dumpy’s Rusty Nuts, Climax Blue’s Band, Man and Dio.

In the early 80’s the Worcester Arts Workshop held “discos” in their cellar – these started off as a mix of stuff but the music became more rock orientated and so I heard a lot of new stuff that way. I also started to ruin my hearing by head banging right next to the speakers!

That concludes the first part of my musical journey!

Invisible Coupé

1 - Driving home at lunchtime Wednesday (31st) and a bus coming in the opposite direction pulls in to a bus stop. The idiot woman driver in a blue shopping trolley following decided that not only she would overtake the bus but do so totally on my side of the road! I managed to do an emergency stop while she nipped back across in front of the bus and scootted on down the road. What's annoying is that the road is wider at the bus stop so she didn't need to be on my side of the road anyway!
2 - I carry on home but about 200yds round the corner a Rover 400 parked on the grass verge decides to reverse onto the road resulting me having to swerve on the opposite side to avoid a collision - luckly there was no oncoming traffic.

Boy was I steaming after that!

3 - The following Saturday I was with Jane drivng through St John's when we got to some lights. Before the lights (Tybridge St) are three lanes, two go right and filter into a three lane road - I was on the inner/righthand lane so to filter into the middle lane in Hylton Road, a Land Rover was in the outer/lefthand lane to carry on into the outer/lefthand/riverside lane. As we came round the corner he seemed to drift towards me so I tooted my horn, no response and he just carries on changing lanes with no indication of seeing me (or even indicating), resulting in me having to swerve into the other (empty!) lane, before slowing down and swinging back into the correct lane behind the LR. He then drove over the bridge then drifted again into another lane, allowing me to move alongside and sound my horn at him again - he just grinned like an idiot and his wife waved her hand at me in a dismissive way! Sadly for him we then came to another set of lights which changed to red - so I saw red, jumped out of the car and went round to his side of the car (while he quickly locked the doors). I then shouted at him through his window what I thought of his driving, pointed out his door mirrors and explained their use, then advised him to use his indicators as well. He carried on grining like an idiot.

Hopefully that was the third time "lucky"- one and my car is now visible to other users.

The Idiot Fights Back

Well I received a letter from "Satellite Assurance Ltd" and this is the letter I've written to them:-

I have recently received a letter from you confirming my new warranty
details. Please cancel this as it was miss-sold to me by your representative.

I was contacted on the 30th March by a gentleman advising me that my satellite warranty had expired and that if I wanted to renew it then he needed my bank details. I was initially suspicious but after it was confirmed (twice) that he represented my current warranty supplier and that you were the approved Sky warranty company I gave him my details.

It was his parting comment that made me realise that he had been lying as he asked me to cancel my current direct debit. A check confirmed that you were neither my current company or indeed approved by Sky.

I have contacted Gwent Trading standards regarding this misrepresentation and this letter will also be sent to Sky.

I would also request that you confirm where you got my home contact details from as I am registered with the Telephone Preference Service so you were in breach of the “Privacy and Electronic (EC Directive) Regulations 2003” and I have therefore
also reported your company to the TPS.

I'm sending a copy to Sky and as I used the Trading Standards website I've already had a card from them asking me to contact them (the registered office for Satellite Assurance is in Gwent) which I shall hopefully do Friday.

I've done a bit of research and it seems that the line used about the warranty expiring is a common one and that some companies just call people at random - they might not even have Sky!
UPDATE 1pm 19th April 2007 - I've had a letter from the TPS stating that they have written to SA Ltd requesting as to why they contacted me.

I'm an Idiot

Yesterday after spending a nice hour cleaning and polishing my beloved Coupé I got a phone call from someone who said they were my Sky warranty company to advise that my warranty had expired and was that what I wanted? I thought this was odd as I had recently checked the details but the bloke on the phone was very convincing and even though I initially said I would not give my bank details to him I did. Part of the story was that as it had expired they no longer had my details and also that the new payments would be quarterly. Anyway I was not 100% happy with the situation when as he finsihed the call he mentioned about ensuring that the monthly direct debit was cancelled. Now this rang alarm bells as I put the phone down but by then it was too late. A quick call to who I thought it was who had called me and no my policy hadn't expired and they were still taking my money (in fact it went out today) so it seems I was conned by a competitor trying to get my business. I hope. Anyway I've now told the bank to block any new direct debits and hopefully the company will send me details of the new policy and I can phone them and give them a piece of my mind. I shall also speak to Sky and the Office of Fair Trading. But I'm still an idiot for falling for the trick - I just can't believe it! I'm not nieve and I orginally refused to give my details but he sweet talked me. I feel USED.
I shall post more as and when it happens.

2006 - A review!

I meant to do this over Christmas but never did!
January - This really started on the 21st when I bought a Fiat Coupé 20v Turbo. Strictly speaking it's a Coupé Fiat 20v Turbo but what ever its called it's a gorgeous looking virtually handmade Italian sports car with a five cylinder turbo charged engine producing 220bhp and 229ft/Lb of torque so it's insanely fast! Mine is in Portofino blue and I love it.
April - This was the big birthday month for me (and also the birthday month for my daughter and my nephew). My brother Simon came over with his wife Sarah and their kids Aidan and baby Perry - well they had to I was having a party! My actual birthday was on a Thursday and I decided a day at Cheddar Caves was in order which was great fun, the next day it was a trip on the Severn Valley Railway - steam trains are great! Then on the Saturday I had my party at a local golf club (which went bust two weeks later!). I'd invited about 100 people - mainly family but also friends from previous work places and from my Mini owner days. My best friends brother in law provided the tunes and I went mad at a certain superstore and spent over £100 on food - which was still keeping us going weeks afterwards! I had a great time and it was brilliant to see everyone.
The next week was quiet but on the Saturday I went on my first big birthday surprise which turned out to be the trip to Iceland (see separate post).
June - Jane, Myself and our dog Chip went to our first Italian car day which was at Stanford Hall in Leicestershire, a nice sunny day and some fantastic cars! Jane and I also went to see a local R&B band called the Official Receivers and danced the night away!
July - This started with Pippa (daughter) doing a charity parachute jump, her fiancee, Rob, Jane and myself went to watch and were very impressed with the people and in Pip & friends who were mad enough to throw themselves out of a perfectly good plane! We also had two weddings so that was more dancing!
August - The second of my birthday presents, kicked off this month with Pippa and Rob's Falconry Day. My Great Aunt celebrated her 60th with a big party so we went off to deepest Shropshire for food, drink, dancing and for me abuse from my cousins kids (not sure what that makes them relationship wise?). I won't mention the car park incident - she was VERY drunk is all I will say!!!! The weekend after that it was the final big birthday present this time from my Mum and her partner, Peter, of a day at Castle Combe Racing School.
After a briefing we went out with an instructor driving a Ford Focus showing us where to brake, turn etc. The it was three laps with us driving the instructor and six in a Formula Ford 1600 single seat race car - absolutely FANTASTIC! And to finish it off the instructors scored everyone and I got 96% and was Driver of the Day!! What a day and well worth the money.
August finished off with Jane's birthday - she had a big one in 2005 so it was a quiet one this time.
November - Jane and I met on a blind date on the 1st November 1992 so we always go out for a nice meal and this year went to a local pub that does great steaks. And that's all I shall say of that night!!!
I also got to see my fave band Fishbone twice, once in Birmingham and once in London, both times supported by the excellant Wolfunkind.
The month ended with a week in Wales in a lovely cottage in Pembrokeshire, just Jane, Chip and me. excellant.

Colin was a Race Car Driver

26th August 2006 – My final “experience” day for my 40th was from my Mum and her partner, Peter, which was a Single Seater Course at Castle Combe Circuit in Wiltshire. The day didn’t bode well as the weather report was for showers which aren’t ideal when trying to drive a racing car! However when we got to the circuit it seemed not too bad even though there had been a short shower just before we arrived.

The day starts with a briefing which was about the circuit, its history and about driving on the circuit – when and how to overtake, flags, what cars we would be in, the correct gears to use and the maximum rev’s we were allowed. Then we were split into groups of five and taken under the wing of an instructor. Firstly Jim our instructor took three of us in a Ford Focus 1800 for three laps of the circuit pointing out the braking points, what gear to be in, the apex of the corners and where to aim the car for on the exit of the corners. He also re-iterated about how to overtake; only on the straights and the slower car to move to the left and slow slightly allowing the faster car to pass on the right.

We then waited our turn to drive the Focus with the instructor showing us what to do etc. Fortunately I had driven a Focus to the circuit so I was familiar with the car and I’ve driven round the circuit numerous times in my Mini, although not for a few years now, which helped with my track knowledge – this proved to be of huge benefit. When it was my turn I was a bit nervous but Jim seemed a nice bloke so I quickly relaxed and got into the driving, listening to what he had to say and trying to get it right – unfortunately someone in a slower car on my last lap hadn’t taken it in about overtaking so when I caught up with them they moved to the RIGHT and slowed which meant I had to slow considerably and was stuck behind them for a few corners till I could safely pass – although I was given an extra lap to make up for it! At the end of the six laps it was in to the pits for a quick de-brief and to get the form signed to let me drive a Formula Ford 1600 single seat race car. This was what I was there for!

After a short wait I was allocated a car and was instructed on the instruments; water temp, revs and oil temp, the on/off switch and the starter button. Then it was a quick check that I could operate the clutch and brake properly and to be strapped in. Then it was on with the fireproof balaclava, gloves and full face helmet. The mechanics attached a battery and I hit the starter button. The engine roared into life just behind my ears and the car started to shake! I then gently gave some throttle, let the clutch out and immediately stalled! Oops! I quickly restarted and with more gas made my way out of the pits and onto the circuit – the first lap was a bit of a mess, including almost loosing it on the final corner, but by the end of it I felt at home in the car and even with the gear stick which was on the wrong side of the car.

The drive was utterly, utterly brilliant – it was an amazing experience and words are difficult to come by that fully describes being strapped in a single seat race car a few inches off the ground. I was soon catching other cars, including one that got the overtaking rule wrong so ruining a few corners for me, and also being caught by cars, although these were the Subaru’s and a Lamborghini that were also on the circuit so I didn’t mind about that! One car I caught up with was just before the final straight and I managed to safely overtake in time for the braking point on the last corner and sweep through the fastest corner on the circuit – little knowing that the car I overtook lost it on the exit of the corner and spun out! However my Mum did as she thought it was me spinning! My partner Jane had seen my overtake so was able to calm her down.

All too soon the six laps came to an end and so I pulled into the pit lane and finally started to grin and realise how good it was. I then posed for the photographer while sat in the car who was pleased that I was smiling so much as it made his job easier. After jumping around with adrenaline for a while we went to pick my photographs and found that he had caught the one car spinning out behind me! So it was a copy of that and one of me grinning in the car.

After collecting the photo’s it was time for the de-briefing and for our score cards to be handed out. After each drive with the instructor he scored everyone on different aspects of our driving and how well we listened to him. The chap giving them out explained that an average score was 60-70%, 80% was good and 90% and above showing very good skill or natural ability. He also said that two people had got very good scores and he would keep them till last. So he slowly gave out each score, reading out some of the comments and congratulated each person and then he was down to the last two and I was still without my card – I looked at Jane as said F in hell! We were told that one person had got 92% and one 93% - and it was me with 93%!!! I was stunned! As I was top of the class I got a special baseball cap with a number 1 on the peak and “Driver of the Day” on the back. What an ending to what was already one of the best days of my life!

Wisely Jane drove us home and we had Domino’s Pizza for tea! What a day.